| Author | Message | ||
     Meena |
Dear friends, I'm sorry I can't write urdu in english font at the moment.........but I will try......I just want to share my feelings,observations and thinkings.........and I need your guiadance.....I'm thankful from depth of my heart;specially janab Sarwar sahib.......who has given me a lot of informations....... I request him to read this poem and give me your expert comments....! thank you very much. meena. Taray lafzoN ki zarb aaj kaari lagi Zindagi aaj phir mujh ko bhaari lagi Gahray zakhmoN say phir teese uthnay lagi Baat gahri hamaiN aaj tumhari lagi Mari aankhoN say jub ashk bahnay lagay Yea adaa mary zalim ko piyaari lagi Dard-e-dil jub shairoN main dhalnay laga Unko achi wo her nazm hamaari lagi Daikha meena ko jub,to tadapnay lagay Ishq ki unko kaisy beemary lagi | ||
| Sarwar A. Raz |
Meena SaaHebah: aadaab! aap ke Hukm kee ta'meel meN aa gayaa hooN! maiN aap kee Ghazal ko Roman ke us niz^aam (system) meN likh` rahaa hooN jo maiN ne Khud tarteeb diyaa hai. aur bohat se niz^aam haiN. kisee ek ko apnaa leN. chand din kee meHnat se aap us ko seekh` jaaYeN gee aur aap ko paRh`ne meN aasaanee ho jaaYe gee. aap kee Ghazal achh`ee hai. zabaan aur bayaan donoN Saaf haiN aur beshtar Ghazal wazn meN durust hai. :beemaaree: kaa qaafiyah aisaa hai jo is wazn meN naheeN kh`ap saktaa hai. aap Khud hee dekh` leN keh is ko :bimaaree: paRh`iYe to wazn bantaa hai aur z^aahir hai keh yeh Ghalat^ hai. ================================ Taray lafzoN ki zarb aaj kaari lagi Zindagi aaj phir mujh ko bhaari lagi achh`aa kahaa hai. daad qubool keejiYe. (tere lafz^oN kee Z^arb aaj kaaree lagee zindagee aaj ph`ir mujh` ko bh`aaree lagee) ------------------------------- Gahray zakhmoN say phir teese uthnay lagi Baat gahri hamaiN aaj tumhari lagi pehlee baat: zaKhm "meN" se Tees uTh`tee hai, zaKhm "se" naheeN! doosree baat: lafz^ :aaj: kehne se wazn Kharaab hotaa hai. is ko :aj: kehnaa ho gaa jo Ghalat^ hai. yooN keh sakte haiN: (gehre zaKhmoN se ph`ir Tees uTh`ne lagee baat gehree hameN jab tumhaaree lagee) ------------------------------- Mari aankhoN say jub ashk bahnay lagay Yea adaa mary zalim ko piyaari lagi she'r achh`aa hai! shaabaash! (meree aaNkh`oN se jab ashk behne lage yeh adaa meree z^aalim ko pyaaree lagee) ---------------------------- Dard-e-dil jub shairoN main dhalnay laga Unko achi wo her nazm hamaari lagi donoN miSre' wazn se baahar haiN ya'nee naa-mauzooN haiN. maiN Th`eek kar rahaa hooN: (dard-e-dil meraa she'roN meN Dh`alne lagaa un ko achh`ee Ghazal ph`ir hamaaree lagee) ---------------------------------- Daikha meena ko jub,to tadapnay lagay Ishq ki unko kaisy beemary lagi jaisaa oopar keh chukaa hooN is wazn meN :beemaaree: naheeN aa saktaa hai. yooN kehiYe: (dekh`aa "Meena" ko jab to taRapne lage dil peh un ke miree aah-o-zaaree lagee) =========================== aise hee koshish kartee rahiYe. aahistah aahistah kaam ho jaaYe gaa. Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar" | ||
| Meena |
Sarwar sahib, Thank you very much.....!! | ||
| Anil |
Meena, Please don't stop writing......I request you..! please.................. Anil |