| Author | Message | ||
     Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
is naye assignment meN ham sab milke ghazal kaheNge jo bah'r meN de rahaa huN us meN sabko ek matlaa aur 3 she'r kam se kam kahne hoNge...! aap apnii radiif apnaa kaafiyaa chun sakte haiN is baar meN bhii is assignment ko puuraa karuuNgaa aur khaas baat ye hai ke maine bhii aaj se pahle is bah'r meN nahiiN likhaa hai..! 1 Bah’r Mujtas Musamman Makhbuun Maqsuur 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-1-1-2 or 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-2-2 ------------------------------------------------ kuchh mashhoor songs haiN unse madad le sakte haiN..! ruke ruke se qadam ruk ke baar baar chale qaraar deke tere dar se beqraar chale na munh chhupake jiiyoo aur na sar jhukake jiiyo ghamon ka daur bhi aaye to muskuraake jiiyo ----------------------------------------------- Koii savaal ho to poochh leN...! Suhel | ||
| Alok |
Suhel Bahi, Mera saubhaagya hai ki is paathshaalaa men Bah’r Mujtas Musamman Makhbuun Maqsuur ka udghaatan mere hi haatho.N se ho rahaa hai. Main apni gazal is bah'r men pesh kar raha hoon. 1 Bah’r Mujtas Musamman Makhbuun Maqsuur 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-1-1-2 "Tere khayaal se hum ho ke beqaraar chale Bisaate-ishq pe hum dil ko khud hi haar chale Sunaa kiye hain ki mitataa rahaa hai ishq men dil Yahaa.N sanam pe to hum jaan kar nisaar chale Kisii nazar se piyaa humne jaame-husn kabhii Tamaam umr usii kaa liye khumaar chale Kahii.N gilaa na ho usko merii khudii se dilaa Ye soch us pe hi hum bekhudii bhi vaar chale Hayaat naam hai yaado.N ke silsile ka yahaa.N Guzarte waqt ki yaade.N liye hazaar chale" Maine isii bah'r men do aur sher bhi likhe hain jinmen pahle misare men (2-2) aur doosare men (1-1-2) ka istemaal kiyaa hai. Main jananaa chahataa hoon ki is bah'r men kya aisa kiya jaa saktaa hai? Kya ye sher is gazal ka hissa ho sakte hain? "Teraa to ishq kahaa.N gam ke hum nahii qaabil Qaram teraa ki hame.N karke darkinaar chale Bha.N.war men shaq ke fansii hai yaqiin ki kashtii Usii safeene men ho kar ke hum sawaar chale" Mujhe aapki raay ka besabrii se intzaar rahegaa. | ||
| Alok |
Suhel Bhai, Shayad ek sher men Shuturgarbaa ka aeb rah gaya hai,to main usko yahan badal raha hoon. "Kahii.N gilaa na ho usko merii khudii se dilaa Ye soch us pe hi khud bekhudii bhi vaar chale" Asha hai aap iske aadhaar par mulankan karenge. | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Alok bhaai abke aapne khush kar diyaa mujhe bahut mazaa aayaa aapkaa qalaam paDhke aapkii mehnat kaamyaab rahii...! tire khayaal se hum ho ke beqaraar chale Bisaat-e-ishq pe hum dil ko khud hi haar chale >...bhaii vaah kyaa hii pyaare she'r se ghazal kaa aaghaaz kiyaa hai aapne mazaa aa gayaa bas ek baat "tere" ko "tire" likheN ravaanii kii diqqat khatm ho jaayegii...! 200% Sunaa kiye haiN ki miTtaa rahaa hai ishq meN dil Yahaa.N sanam pe to hum jaan kar nisaar chale >...ek aur pyaaraa she'r magar duusre misre meN kuchh tarmiim kii zaroorat hai...aap ise yuN bhii kah sakte haiN...! 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-1-1-2 yahaaN kisii ka na dil pe ab ikhtiyaar chale phir bhii 200% Kisii nazar se piyaa humne jaame-husn kabhii tamaam umr usii kaa liye khumaar chale >...ye bhii Thiik hai 200% Kahii.N gilaa na ho usko merii khudii se dilaa Ye soch us pe hi hum bekhudii bhi vaar chale >....ye she'r bhii khoob hai bas "dilaa" ko "kabhii" se replace kar deN...200% Hayaat naam hai yaado.N ke silsile ka yahaa.N Guzarte waqt ki yaade.N liye hazaar chale" >...ye bhii khoob rahii 200% Alok bhaai sach kahuN to is ghazal meN bahtarii ho saktii hai aur uskii gunzaaish hameshaa rahtii hai magar aapne bah'r meN baazii maarii hai...! isii liye aapko 100 meN se 90 detaa huN... Suhel | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Alok bhaaii aapne sahii kahaa maine bhii dekhaa nahiiN aapne jo tarmiim pesh kii hai vo chal jaayegii...! | ||
| Alok |
Suhel Bhai, Mujhe behad khushi hui ki aapko mera qalaam pasand aayaa. Par aap un do sheron ke baare men bataanaa to bhool hi gaye. Kya hum ek hi sher men ya ek hi gazal men Bah’r Mujtas Musamman Makhbuun Maqsuur ke 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-1-1-2 aur 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-2-2 prayog kar sakte hain? Mujhe aapke javaab ka intzaar hai! | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
ji bikul kar sakte haiN dono bah'r ek hii hai kyuNke ham 2 short syllable ko merge karke 1 long syllable banaa sakte haiN...! aapke dono ash'aar achche haiN..! | ||
| Alok |
Suhel Bhai, Maine apne gazal ki doosare sher ko badal diya hai. Zaraa dekhiye ki ye kaisaa hai: "Ye jaante hain ki miTtaa rahaa hai ishq men dil Kahaa.N dilo.N ka muhabbat pe ikhtiyaar chale " Agar aapko ye pasand aaye to main is poorii gazal ko "Apni Poetry" section men post kar doon! | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Alok bhaai aapke is she'r meN khayaal baht achchaa hai aap ismeN ek ma'aamulii si tarmiim ke baad ye she'r khoob se khoobtar ho jaayegaa...! "Ye jaante hain ki miTtaa rahaa hai ishq men dil Kahaa.N dilo.N pe muhabbat meN ikhtiyaar chale " ..ab dekheN..! | ||
| Arun BeKhabar |
Good job Alok! Terrific progress! mai bhii soch rahaa thaa is behr me assignment karooN magar kambakht koi khayaal hee nahi aataa bheje me! Arun BeKhabar  | ||
| silent_rooh Username: Rooh Registered: 08-2005 |
mujhe lagaa ki merey alaawaa sab ke assignments agaye hongey..per class room mei to sirf Alok ka hii assignment hai..kya hogaya... suhel iss bahr ne bahot pareshaan kiya mujhe..this is the fourth atttempt that i m posting..please dekh lo...but i feel that i will never again try writing in this bahr...lol 12121122121222 ye kuu e yaar miraa aakhrii thikaanaa hai mujhe n aur kahiiN ab yahaN se janaa hai haiN raastey kaiN yahaan, aur manzileN bhii kaiN magar mirey liye dar hi tiraa zamaana hai mitey na ishq humaaraa kabhii sanam mire ke rabt ye maut ke baad bhii nibhaanaa hai haiN aaj bhii yaaN wahii log puraaney se magar humey naa riwaazon se ab ke darnaa hai sailaab phir dariyaa mei hai bahot ab ke magar chenaab humey ab paar utarnaa hai Rooh | ||
| gauhar |
bahut kam logoN ne apne assignments submit kiye haiN,aur apne suhel miyaN bhi gaayab hain.lagtaa hai kaam meiN sabhi mashruff haiN. maiN apni assignment post kar rahji huiN,par aaj-kal dimaag kuch ThanDa hai,bahut likhne ki koshish karti huiN par zehan meiN kuch aataa hi nahi. suhelji,kyaa faiz sb. ki ghazal "guloN meiN rang bhare" isi behr meiN hai? 1 Bah’r Mujtas Musamman Makhbuun Maqsuur 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-1-1-2 or 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-2-2 naqaab-e josh nahi soch par hijaab nahi "gauhar" hai aur to tujhsaa koi kharaab nahi hazaar manzileN aur ik hazaar raaheN haiN meri tawaajjuH par waH tiraa jawaab nahi haiN mushqileN hamko yuNto baar baar milee ai naa-samajh dil tujhsaa hai par azaab nahi makaam-e ulfat ka yeH baais-e taqaazaa hai na hai hisaab-e junooN rasm-e intekhaab nahi na kaafiri aaye hai na bandagii sikhe tere naseeb meiN "gauhar" koi khitaab nahi gauhar | ||
| Sunita Username: Sunita Registered: 05-2005 |
suhel ji ab jab se apne assignements post kar diye haiN to mai bhi jo likha hai use post karti huN, lekin jaise rooh ne kaha is beh`r mai likhna mushkil laga. vaise bhi jab se yeh beh`r ka chakar huaa hai brain to ek dunm jaise block ho gaya hai. pehle jahan roz kuch na kuch likhti thi ab kuch soojhata hi nahin hai.teacher ji koi slah den ki kya karen. chiraag-e-sabr na furkat mai tum bujhaa dena kabhi jo had se badhe dard muskuraa dena kabhi jo yaad mai aayuN to aah mat bharna gira ke palken mujhe tum bas ik sadaa dena hai yaad mujh ko shab-e-hijr ki bekasi ab tak mera ye haal saba un ko tuu bataa dena sitam judaayi ka bana qahar mere liiye na roothe yaar kisi ka ye tum duaa dena mujhe qubool tumaari hai berukhi lekin kabhi nazar se na apni mujhe giraa dena agar che baais-e-ruswaaii ban gayii huN mai tum apne haathoN se `Nikhat` ke khat jalaa dena | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Sabne ek saath assignmeN post kar diyaa aur maiN lalluu sabse piichhe rah gayaa chalo aap sab ke asssssignmeNt check karne ke baad maiN apnii ghazal post karuNgaa aur is assignment meN aval aayegaa vo merii ghazal check karegaa...! maine notepad par sabkii ghazal copy kar lii hai jald hii maiN result declare karuNgaa...! Allah Hafiz Suhel 'Ulfat' | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Ziya aaj maiN aapkii assignment check karne jaa rahaa huN maine ek baat note kii hai ke aapne jitne bhii radii-kaafiyaa vaale misre haiN unmeN bah'r maintain kii hai magar baakii misro meN bah'r gaRbaRaa gayii hai...! 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2 2 2 ye kuu e yaa r mi raa aa kh rii thi kaa naa hai mu jhe na au r ka hiiN ab ya haaN se jaa naa hai >...vaah! matlaa aapne bilkul sahii kahaa hai har lehaaj se ye duruust hai...! 200% haiN raa s tey ka ii ya haaN aur man zi leN bhii ka iN ma gar mi rey li ye dar hii ti raa za maa naa hai >.....khayaal achchaa hai bahut hii pyaaraa khayaal hai magar jaise maine kahaa pahlaa misraa bah'r meN nahiiN hai maine breakdown kii hai aap dekheN...! 100% mi tey na ish q hu maa raa ka bhii sa nam me re ke rab t ye mau t ke baa d bhii ni bhaa naa hai >...ye she'r bahut gaRbaR hai dono misro men bah'r gaRbaR hai..! 0% haiN aa j bhii yaaN wa hii lo g puu raa ney se ma gar hu mey na ri waa zon se ab ke dar naa hai >...aap Darnaa ko as a kaafiyaa istemaal nahiiN kar sakte kyuNke aapne matle meN - "Thi-kaa-naa" aur "jaa-naa" istemaal kiyaa hai isii liye aapkaa kaafiyaa "zamaanaa", "nishaanaa", "paanaa", "jalaanaa" etc. etc. ho saktaa hai...! sai laa b phir da ri yaa mei hai ba hot ab ke ma gar che naa b hu mey ab paa r u tar naa hai >..yahaaaN bhii vahii diqqat hai...! Rooh maiN marks nahiiN de rahaa huN aapko 3 din kaa time de rahaa huN aap dobaaraa isii bah'r meN likheN maiN aapko kuchh aur gaane is bah'r ke bataa detaa huN aapko usse madad milegii...! "payaam-e-ishq-o-muhabbat hameN pasand nahiiN" film baabar aur haaN kuchh basic rule dhyaan rakheN...! 1. "a", "i", "u" - agar ye khud akele aate haiN to short syllable banaate haiN "1" 2. "a", "i", "u" - agar ye kisii consonent ke baad aate haiN to bhii short syllable banaate haiN "2" 3. "a", "i", "u" - agar ye do consonent le biichh aayeN to long syllable banaate haiN "2" 4. "a", "i", "u" - kisii consonent se pahle aaye to bhii long syllable banaate haiN: ab kuchh example dekh leN... for example: agar : a-gar = 1-2 nazar : na-zar = 1-2 sifar :si-far = 1-2 hunar :su-nar = 1-2 uzr = uz-r = 2-1 azr = az-r ilm = il-m kuchh rule aur bataaooNgaa abhii zaraa kuchh kaam aa gayaa jaanaa paDh rahaa hai...! aap chhoTa sa dost Suhel | ||
| silent_rooh Username: Rooh Registered: 08-2005 |
suhel mujhe pataa thaa yahii hogaa..bahot mushkil se iss bahr mei likha thaa...aur chaar chaar attempts kiye they...mei sach mei weight ko le kar bahot confuse ho gayii hun..jo seekhaa tha wo sab alter karnaa par rahaa hai...mujhe ek baat samjh nahii aarahii hai ke jab a i u ka weight one hotaa hai to kisii consonant ke baat aaye to weight one rehtaa hai aur consonant se pehle aaye to weight two kyun..jab ke insaan bolne mei hum in oer ziyaadaa zor nahii dete hain..iinsaan nahii boltey hain in-saan hi boltey hain...to ye long syllable kaise hogaa?..same is with uzr..oozr nahii boltey hain uz-r hii boltey hain...jahaan tak mei samjhtii hun syllable ka weight usske pronunciation se hotaa hai...if the weight is more during the pronunciation then the weight shud be two other wise it is one...mujhe ye baat koi clear karde please... | ||
| Sunita Username: Sunita Registered: 05-2005 |
Hi Rooh tum itni confuse kyuN ho rahi ho. jaise tumne kaha uzr ab isko prononce karte waqt U par zor hota hai aur kyunki yeh vowel consonent ke saath mil raha hai,us se pehle hai is liye long syllable hai. R khud akela consonent hai is liye uska short syllable hai. Tum kuch din likhte waqt yeh kar sakti ho ki jis baat mai clear na ho tab beh`r vaale lesson jo suhel ne yahan post kiye hain unhe zaroor refer karo.ab to tum mujhe bhi mail kar sakti ho.kal tumhaari mail ka jawaab diya tha mila ki nahin. | ||
| silent_rooh Username: Rooh Registered: 08-2005 |
haan suni mail mil gayii hai.....meine reply bhii kiyaa hai...abhi just kuchh deir pehley...dekho ek baat suno..jab hum uss kehtey hain to consonanat to wahaaN bhii hai u ke baad..jab hum su kehtey hain to consonant hai s ke baad..uss ka weight two hai aur su ka weight one hai jab ke jo vowel use huaa hai wo single hai...jo vowel apne aap mei weight one rakhta hai wo consonant se pehley aaye to weight two ho jataa hai aur consonant ke baad aaye to weight one rehtaa hai...ye kis rule ke tehet hota hai..aisa kyun.. agar uss ko break kiya jaye to hindi ka chhota oo aur s mil kar bantey hain agar su ko break kiya jaye to hindi ka s aur chhoti oo ki matra se bantaa hai...yahaan koi barii matra to use ho hii nahii rahii hai..weight two to tab hotaa hai na jab barii matraa use ho rahii hai.. mujhe iss ka logic samjh nahii arahaa hai iss liye mei itnii confuse ho rahii hun... | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Gauhar sirf matlaa chhoR ke aapkii si ghazal meN bahut gaRbaR jhaalaa hai ek chiiz hai ke aap aur Rooh bahut kariib ho bah'r ko samajhne ke ye to pataa chal rahaa hai lekin kuchh basic confusion kii vajh se aap log manzil tak pahuNchte-pahUnchte raastaa bhool jaate ho..! isii liye maiN 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 na qaa be jo sh na hiiN so ch par hi jaa b na hiiN gau har hai au r to tujh saa ko i kha raa b na hi >...Vallah! kyaa zabardast she'r kahaa hai bhai ye she'r to sulagte hue dil se hii nikal saktaa hai ThanDe demaagh se nahiiN aapko iske 1000% ha zaa r man zi leN au rik ha zaa r raa heN haiN me ri ta waa j ju par waH ti raa ja waa b na hi >...kyaa baat hai Rooh ke aur aapke misre meN ek hii khayaal kahiiN naql to nahiiN kii jaa rahii..LOL dono misro meN rabt nahiiN nazar aa rahaa bah'r lagbhag Thiik hai bas pahle misre meN ek syllable aur joRnaa paDegaa..! is she'r ke maarks nahiiNmileNge aapko..! haiN mush qi leN ham ko yuN to baa r baa r mi lee ai naa sa ma jh dil tujh saa hai par a zaa b na hi >...is she'r kaa khayaal bhii achchaa hai magar pahle misre meN bah'r laRkhaRaa gayii hai..! ma kaa me ul fat ka yeH baa i se ta qaa zaa hai na hai hi saa be ju nooN ras me in ta khaa b na hiiN >..yahaaN bhii bah'r gaRbaR..! na kaa fi rii aa ye hai na ban da gii sii khe te re na see b meiN "gau har" ko ii khi taa b na hiiN >....yahaaN bhii vahii diqqat...! Gauhar aapko bhii marks nahiiN mileNge sazaa milegii aur sazaa vahii hai jo Rooh ko milii hai 3 din ke andar aapko isii bah'r meN ek achchhii ghazal kahnii hai...!kuch ek gaane is bah'r meN aur bataaye detaa huN...! kuchh rule maine Rooh ke javaab meN likhe haiN kuchh aapko likh rahaa huN dhyaan se sune... 1. "aa", "oo", "ii" - agar ye khud aayeN to long syllable banaate haiN "2" 2. "aa", "oo", "ii" - agar ye kisii consonent ke baad aate haiN to long syllable banaate haiN "2" 3. "aa", "oo", "ii" - agar ye do consonent ke biich meN aate haiN to long syllable "3" kaa weight banaate haiN jisko ham "2-1" meN break kar dete haiN..! ab kuchh example dekheN.... aasmaan - aa-s-maa-n = 2-1-2-1 (agar aasmaaN hogaa to : aa-s-maaN = 2-1-2 kyuNke noon gunnaa kaa koii weight nahiiN hogaa) toofaan - too-faa-n = 2-2-1 raat = raa-t = 2-1 phool = phoo-l = 2-1 shiin = shii-n = 2-1 (isii tarhaa jitne bhii aise lafz hoNge unkaa wajn 2-1 hii hogaa, "baat, saath, haath, daagh, khaak, phool, dhool, bhool, chhaap, shiin, chiin" yahaaN ye dhyaan rakheN "kh", "gh", "dh", "ph", "th", "jh", "sh", "ch", "bh", "chh" sab single consonent haiN) kyuNke ye urdu/hindi ke hisaab se single character hote haiN kyuNke roman meN utne character nahiiN jite urdu/hindi meN hai isii liye ham "h" ke saath joR kar kuchh lafz likhte haiN! khaak'saar Suhel 'Ulfat' | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Rooh aap dekhiye ke jab ham "nazar" aur "asar" kahte haiN to sond meN koii farq nahiiN aataa yaane agar "a","i","u" se pahle consonent aa bhii jaaye to weight nahiiN change hotaa...! aur rahii baat "insaan" kii "in" meN "i" ko jaldii transfer hone se consonent rok detaa hai aur hameN halka sa ruknaa paRtaa hai isii liye iskaa vajn "2" hotaa hai magar jab "idhar" meN "i" ke baad consonent hai magar uske baad "a" vowel hai isii lie "i" - "dhar" yaane "a" kii vajh se "i" par weight nahiiN rukaa...! baakii mujhe khud samajh nahiiN aa rahaa ke aap sabko maiN kaise samjhaaooN saamne hote to shaayad ye diqqat nahiiN aatii..! | ||
| gauhar |
teacherji,aapne hamein fail kiyaa:-(boohoo.. koi baat nahiiN,ik aur assignment kareNge,lekin yaar thoDa easy assignment diyaa karo,pure behr meiN se aapko diqqat waale behr chunne ki aadat ho gayii hai,zaraa hamaare baare meiN bhi sochaa karo!!:-) chalo dimaag ko thoDaasaa ghisaa ke aati huiN... gauhar | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Sunita ji aapkii ghazal paDh ke ye mehsoos huaa ke Alok ke baad aapkii ghazal asii hai jispe maiN marks de saktaa huN...! chiraag-e-sabr na furkat mai tum bujhaa dena kabhi jo had se badhe dard muskuraa dena >...bhai vaaH! matlaa to sabne bahut hii umdah kahaa hai aur aapkaa matlaa bhii masha'allah bahut achchaa hai 200% kabhi jo yaad mai aayuN to aah mat bharna gira ke palken mujhe tum bas ik sadaa dena >...ek aur pyaaraa she'r 200% 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2 2 2 hai yaad mujhko shabe-hijr ki bekasi ab tak mera ye haal saba un ko tuu bataa dena >...pahle duusre misre meN koii rabt nahiiN hai aur pahle misre meN 2-3 syllable bhii zyaadaa haiN pahlaa misraa badalne ki darkaar hai..! ise yuN kaheN..100% kisii ki yaad meN aasuN bahaa rahaa hai koii sitam judaayi ka bana qahar mere liiye na roothe yaar kisi ka ye tum duaa dena >...is she'r meN bhii vahii diqqat hai...!100% mujhe qubool tumaari hai berukhi lekin kabhi nazar se na apni mujhe giraa dena >..bhai vaah! 1000% agar che baais-e-ruswaaii ban gayii huN mai tum apne haathoN se `Nikhat` ke khat jalaa dena >..ek aur zabardast she'r 1000% aapka is ghazal ke 100 meN se 90 marks milte haiN aapke aur Alok ke biich meN tie ho gayii isii liye aap aur Alok milke merii ghazal check kareNge jo maiN aaj post kar rahaa huN...maine usmeN kuchh khaamiyaa rakhi haiN DhooNdhnaa musqil hai magar koshish karnaa..! | ||
| Jalees Sherwani |
Gauhar,Yeh Suhel badmaash ho gaye haiN.Aap logoN ko satane maiN inheN lutf aata hai.Mushkil se Mushkil behr nikaal kar late haiN.ARRE miyan Suhel ek saathh itna bojh natawanoN par mat daalo. Yeh sab umdaH keh rahe haiN.Lajawaab koshish.Sab ke sab Zindabaad.Meri ghazaleN kisi ko nazar nahiN aa rahi haiN.Koii baat nahiN dosto maiN bhii daad maiN kanjoosi dekhta hooN kab tak rahegi? Aapka apna sa Jalees | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Alok, Gauhar, Rooh aur Sunita maiN apnaa assignment post kar rahaa huN pahle maine kahaa thaa ke maine is bah'r meN kabhii kuchh nahiiN likhaa magar baad meN apni ek ghazal ko dekhaa to vo isii bah'r meN thii pahle soch usii ghazal ko post kar duN phir maine sochaa ke ye cheating hogii isii liye maine bilkul taazaa ghazal pesh kii hai assignment ke ruup meN...! jo sachche dil se mire yaar! pyaar karte haiN vo jhooThe vaadoN pe bhii aitbaar karte haiN kisii ke ishq meN jo apni niiNd kho baiThe vo raat jaag ke taare shumaar karte haiN ajab haiN log ajab zabt hai ataa unko khazaaoN meN bhi jo zikr-e-bahaar karte haiN hayaat jisne hamaarii bhigo di ashkoN meN u_sii ka ham sar-e-shaam intizaar karte haiN ke ghair ka jineh ahsaas-e-gham nahiiN hotaa mirii nazar meN vo bas khud se pyaar karte haiN vafaa kaa sabr kaa daaman jo thaame rakhte haiN vahii samandar-e-ulfat ko paar karte haiN ye pal do pal ki khushii aapko mubaarak ho ke ham to umr bhar ke gham se pyaar karte haiN vo dost haiN mire dushman nahiiN hai ai! 'Ulfat' jo piiTh piichhe se aa kar ke vaar karte haiN khaak'saar Suhel 'Ulfat' | ||
| silent_rooh Username: Rooh Registered: 08-2005 |
suhel assignment dekh lo..aur aagey barho...nayi bahr ke baarey mein kuchh sochein? Tamaam umr khale zakhm wo diyaa mujh ko Ke kuchh to haatho se tere sanam milaa mujh ko Milaa sukuun bayaabaaN mei aa basii jab se JahaaN se duur huii ye nahii gilaa mujh ko Na dostii hai kisii ko na dushmanii mujhse Huii naseeb se khalvat hi bas ataa mujh ko Dhalii jo shaam to dekhaa ke apnaa saayaa bhii Vo chhoR kar hai akelaa chalaa gayaa mujhko Chalaa gayaa hai magar ik hunar ataa karke Ki jaaneman wo miraa kar gayaa hiraa mujh ko | ||
| Sunita Username: Sunita Registered: 05-2005 |
suhel ab Alok to aaye nahiN mai hi aap ki ek badi si galti aao ko bataa deti hun, baki to sab chal jaayega, takreeban har she`r beh`r mai hai aur khayal bhi theek hai . kuch ek jagah khayal kamzor hai,aur theek kiya ja sakta hai ab teacher ji yeh to tha aap ka style jo maine copy kiya hai, sach mai meri rai janna chahte haiN to ghazal bahut achchi aur beh`r mai hai bas ek cheez samajh nahiN aayi kiis she`r mai "bhar"ka weight 1 kaise ho gaya, yeh kya teachers ke liye naya rule hai?teacher hote hue aap ne yeh galati ki is liye aapke 10 number to galti ke aur 10 number teacher ho kar galti karne ke kaate ja rahe haiN aap ko 100 mai se 80 marks milenge ab is baat se sehmat hoN na hoN, aaj ke liye to aap student haiN khush ab jaldi se naya assignement bata deejiye. | ||
| gauhar |
amma!yeh roohne to apnaa assignment nipat liyaa,aur ek meiN huiN jiske bheje meiN kuch aataa hi nahii.suhel miyaN,thoDaa aur waqt chahiye.aapki yeh student thoDi lazy hai...:-) roohne to kamaal kar diyaa! gauhar | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Rooh kamaal kar diyaa bhai vaah! ise kahte haiN naa_naa_karte pyaar tumhii se kar baiThe..LOL Tamaam umr khale zakhm wo diyaa mujh ko Ke kuchh to haatho se tere sanam milaa mujh ko >...bahut khoob...200% Milaa sukuun bayaabaaN mei aa basii jab se JahaaN se duur huii ye nahii gilaa mujh ko >...kyaa baat hai kyaa zarf hai mazaa aa gayaa 200% Na dostii hai kisii ko na dushmanii mujhse Huii naseeb se khalvat hi bas ataa mujh ko >...ek aur dikash she'r hai 200% Dhalii jo shaam to dekhaa ke apnaa saayaa bhii Vo chhoR kar hai akelaa chalaa gayaa mujhko >...bahut khoob duusre misre meN bahtarii laayii jaa saktii hai..! 200% Chalaa gayaa hai magar ik hunar ataa karke Ki jaaneman wo miraa kar gayaa hiraa mujh ko >...yahaaN bas ek baat jaan leN "hiraa" ko ham "khiNch ke paDhte haiN yaane ye Heeraa hotaa hai" 100% aapko is bahtariin kaavish ke liye maiN aapko 100 meN se 98% detaa huN..! aur abhii aap is assignment meN first aaye haiN..dekheN gauhar kaisaa kartii haiN..! Suhel | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Gauhar maiN aapki assignment ki wait kar rahaa huN jaldi kiijiye...! | ||
| gauhar |
ok suhelji,apni assignment post kar rahu huiN,par kuch khaas ummeedeiN nahii hai,aakhiri sher se pataa chal jaayegaa,ki meri is ghazal ke baare meiN meraa kyaa khayaal hai. jo mehrbaani hai fitrat meiN barqaraar nahi hai dil meiN husn ke ulfat ki ik daraar nahi piye to jaate hai gam-e jahaaN ke jaam magar gam-e muhabbat jaisaa koi khumaar nahi maiN jaati huiN kiye sajde hazaar baar magar paDe hai daaman meiN kuch siwaa gubaar nahi ke hoshiyaar to aakhir hai tajribe se yeH dil kisi inaayat kaa aaj intezaar nahi likhe to jaati hai "gauhar" behr ki mashq meiN par ravaaN khayaal nahi taaqat-e ashaar nahi ab iss baar pls. mat fail karna,teacherji,aur agli baar koi simplesi behr dena assignment ke liye. gauhar | ||
| gauhar |
suhelji,ek sawaal hai,agar behr meiN 1-1 ka wazan ho,to kyaa use ham 2 ke wazan waale lafz ke liye istemaal kar sakte hai?jaise ki 1-1 hai to can we use the words like "dil","ham" etc.. gauhar | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Gauhar aap aisa nahiiN kar sakte kyuNki "dil" aur "ham" single Long Syllable hai aur aap ek single long syllable ko split nahiN kar sakte into 2 short syllable magar 2 short syllable ko aap merge zaroor kar sakte haiN...! "aap mujhe" meN "pmu" ko merge kar sakte haiN..into a single long syllable jable "p" aur "mu" kaa wajn "1" aur "1" hai...! | ||
| Suhel Khan Username: Suhel Registered: 04-2001 |
Gauhar aapki is ghazal se ye to ahsaas ho gayaa ke aapne bahut mehnat kii hai...lekin kuchh buniyaadii baato ko aapne ne nazar andaaz kiyaa hai shaayad aapko pataa nahiiN thi isi liye...! 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 jo mehrbaani hai fitrat meiN barqaraar nahi hai dil meiN husn ke ulfat ki ik daraar nahi >..vaah! matle kii bah'r aapne khoob nibaahii hai bahut khoob 200% 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 piye to jaate hai gam-e jahaaN ke jaam magar gam-e muhabbat jaisaa koi khumaar nahi >...is she'r meN aapne gaRbaR kar dii...hai bah'r kii...ise yuN kah ke dekhiye aur check kiijiye..! iske aapko 100% milte haiN khayaal ke...! piye to jaati huN bhar bhar ke aaj jaam magar gham-e-muhabbat-e-yaaraa sa kuchh khumaar nahiiN maiN jaati huiN kiye sajde hazaar baar magar paDe hai daaman meiN kuch siwaa gubaar nahi >...bhai vaah! khayaal achachhaa hai magar duusraa misraa bah'r se baahir hai...!ise yuN kaheN...! paDe hai daaman-e-gauhar pe kuchh gubaar nahiN 100% ke hoshiyaar to aakhir hai tajribe se yeH dil kisi inaayat kaa aaj intezaar nahi >...vaah! pahlaa misraa kyaa likhaa hai aapne bahut pyaaraa samaa baaNdhaa hai magar duusre misre meN kuchh syllable khaa gayii bahut bhook lagii thi kyaa..LOL..ise yuN kaheN..! kisii karam kaa kisii se ab intizaar nahiiN 100% 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 2 1 2 1 2 1 1 2 likhe to jaati hai "gauhar" behr ki mashq meiN par ravaaN khayaal nahi taaqat-e ashaar nahi >...ghazab matlaa hai bahut pasand aayaa 1000% kaa she'r hai..! Gauhar aapko is baar 100 meN se 75 milte haiN aapkii koshish kii daad detaa huN aapne bahut mehnat kii aur lagbhag is bah'r samajh aa gayii hai..! | ||
| gauhar |
suhelji,isi ka problem tha,jo aapne suljhaa diyaa,maine bahut baar 2 wazn waale alfaaz galat jagaH istemaal kiye hai, aur thank you techerji,jo iss baar pass kiya:-) aapki ghazal bhi paDhi,abtak kisi ki ghazal check kar sakuN,itni mashq nahii huii hai,aapki ghazal lekin bahut pasand aayii.shaayad,alokji,yaa roohji check kar sake. aadaab arz hai! gauhar | ||
| Alok |
Suhel Ji, Aapki gazal mujhe bahut pasand aayii hai. Maine use note kar liya hai aur ghar jaa kar uski galtiyaan dhoondhane ka prayatn karoonga. Waise kisi galti ke hone ki ummed to kam hi hai. | ||
| Alok |
Suhel Bhai, Pahle to main ye qubool karna chahunga ki mujhmen gazal men kamiya.N nikalne layak mashq nahi hai,phir bhi main ye kaam kar raha hoon kyonki aapne bharosa dilaya hai ki aapne is gazal men kuchh kamiyan chhoDi hain. Agar ye sahi na hon to beshaq meri kamaql aur agar ye sahi ho to aapka prashikshan hi jimmedaar samjha jaaye! Mujhe aapki gazal ke ye misre bah'r se khaariz lage. 1-2-1-2-1-1-2-2-1-2-1-2-2-2 "u_sii ka ham sar-e-shaam intizaar karte haiN" "ke ghair ka jineh ahsaas-e-gham nahiiN hotaa" "vahii samandar-e-ulfat ko paar karte haiN" "ke ham to umr bhar ke gham se pyaar karte haiN" Agar main galat hoon to bilashaq apni gustakhii ki mua'afi chahtaa hoon! Main ye to pahle hi kah chuka hoon ki mujhe ye gazal behad pasand aayii hai. Khaaskar iska matlaa to padhte hi meri zabaan par chadh gayaa: - "jo sachche dil se mire yaar! pyaar karte haiN vo jhooThe vaadoN pe bhii aitbaar karte haiN" Waah! Kya khoob kaha hai!!! |