| Author |
Message |
    
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, July 31, 2005 - 04:32 am: | |
Aap sabko merii taraf se dilii mubaarakbaad kii aap sabne apnii mehnat aur lagan se bah'r siikhii aur ab jabke aap sab bah'r ke basics jaan chuke haiN ab aapko practice karnii hai jitnii zyaadaa ho sake aaj se meN har hafte ek nayii bah'r post karuuNgaa jispar aapko ek yaa do ghazal kam se kam 4 she'roN kii post karnii hogii isse ye hogaa ki har ek bah'r se aap logo ruu_ba_ruu ho jaayeN
aaj maiN aapko 2 bah'r ek hii family ki de rahaa huN...jis tarah ab tak aap log mehnat karte aaye haiN aapko vaise hii mehnat karnii paRegii...!
1. Bah’r Mutadaarik (212)3
2-1-2-2-1-2-2-1-2
Misra : "terii baatoN meN aa hii gaye"
Radiif: "hii gaye"
Kaafiya: "aa", "luTaa", "davaa", "khafaa", "khilaa"..etc.
Song_1 :
jaaneman ik nazar dekh le
tere sadqe idhar dekh le
Film: Mere Mehboob
-----------------------------------------
1. Bah’r Mutadaarik Saalim (212)4
2-1-2-2-1-2-2-1-2-2-1-2
Misra: "dard had se guzar kar fanaa ho gayaa"
Radiff: "ho gayaa"
Kaafiya: "rihaa", "khafaa", "nashaa", "wafaa", "adaa", "sivaa"...etc.
Song_1:
aapke pyaar meN ham savaNrne lage
Film: Raaz
Song_2"
raunaq-e-maiqadaa yuhiiN baDhtii rahe
ek girtaa rahe ik saNbhaltaa rahe
Ghazal: Jagjit Singh & Chitra Singh
---------------------------------------------
ye dono hi bah'r bahut hii miiThii haiN aur ismeN likhne kaa bahut lutf hai...aap log 7/8/05 se pahle apnii dono ghazal post kar sakte haiN ek saath yaa ek-ek karke...!kuchh savaal hoN to poochh sakte haiN...!
aap sabkaa chooTa sa dost
Suhel
|
silent_rooh
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2005 - 05:41 am: | |
suhel pehlaa assignment kiyaa hai post kar rahii hun...
bahr 212 212 212
dard dil mei jagaa hii gayii
raat mujhko rulaa hii gayii
aatishe ishq aisii lagii
ghar miraa wo jalaa hii gayii
bhool saktey nahii hum tujhe
yaad khuu mein samaa hii gayii
baad muddat ke miley to lagaa
chaah ki wo adaa hii gayii
berukhii ye tirii humnawaa
kaif dil se mitaa hii gayii
zehr ye hijr ka dekh tuu
ziist hum ko pilaa hii gayii
jog taqdeer uss kii hai so
daultein rooh lutaa hii gayii
Rooh |
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2005 - 06:09 am: | |
Rooh kamaal kar diyaa aapne mujhe lagtaa hai aap is baar first aake rahogii jis tarah aapne is ghazal ki bunat kii hai mujhe bahut hii khushii huii kyuNkii ye bahut kaThiin thii...!
dard dil mei jagaa hii gayii
raat mujhko rulaa hii gayii
>>....vaah! kyaa matlaa hai bahut khoob 200%
aatishe ishq aisii lagii
ghar miraa wo jalaa hii gayii
>>....ek aur pyaaraa she'r 200%
bhool saktey nahii hum tujhe
yaad khuu mein samaa hii gayii
>...subhan'allah vaah kyaa she'r kahaa hai aapne bahut hii khoobsoorat bahut hii dilaksh jii kar rahaa iske liye aapko maiN phone pe mubaarak baad duN ye she'r mujhe andar tak chhoo gayaa...!
1000%
baad muddat ke miley to lagaa
chaah ki wo adaa hii gayii
>>....ek aur behtariin she'r runner-up she'r hai aapkii ghazal kaa 200%
berukhii ye tirii humnawaa
kaif dil se mitaa hii gayii
>>..ghazab! 200%
zehr ye hijr ka dekh tuu
ziist hum ko pilaa hii gayii
>...pehlaa misraa kuchh Thiik nahiiN lag rahaa aapko khayaal achchhaa pakRaa hai..100%
jog taqdeer uss kii hai so
daultein rooh lutaa hii gayii
>>..maqtaa bhii khoob hai 200%
Rooh is bahtariin ghazal ke maiN aapko 100 meN 95 detaa huN...mubaarak ho...!
bhool saktey nahii hum tujhe
yaad khuu mein samaa hii gayii
>>....ye she'r bataur nishaanii maine apnii diary maiN likhne ke liye note kar liyaa hai aapkii ijaazat kaa muntazir huN...!
aapkaa chhoTa sa dost
Suhel
|
silent_rooh
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2005 - 06:25 am: | |
arey merey chhotey se dost aap ko ijaazat ki zarurat kab se par gayii...chaliye ye sher humney ulfat ke naam kiyaa...theek hai
aur mei bahot khush hun ki aap ko ghazal pasand aayii sach kahun to i was not much satisfied with this attempt...mujhe laga rahaa hai ki aur behtar likhaa jaa saktaa tha...
zehr ye hijr ka dekh tuu
ziist hum ko pilaa hii gayii...aap iss mein kuchh suggest karein
thanx
Rooh |
Sunita
Username: Sunita
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2005 - 08:47 am: | |
Suhel apna ek assignement post kar rahi huN
beh`r 212 212 212
teri baatoN mai aa hii gaye
hosh apne luuta hii gaaye
tujh ko maana tha apna khuda
jaane tum kyuN khafaa hii gaye
jo bhi chaha tha dil ne mere
sabhi sarf-e-duaa hii gaye
tum to majboor itna na the
chot dil pe lagaa hii gaye
chaand tanha tha aasman mai
ham jahaN se tanha hii gaye
aaj yaadoN mai unkii nahiN
jaan jis pe luutaa hii gaye
apne hisse mai toofaan the
kaise saahil pe aa hii gaye
aansu daaman pe tere gire
moti kuch bana hii gaye
unkii aankheN thi ek mai kadaa
hosh mere udaa hii gaye
|
Sunita
Username: Sunita
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2005 - 09:37 am: | |
suhel maine yeh jo assignement post kiya hai is se mai thoda khush nahin hun aap please mujhe thoda time deN mai isse theek kar ke dubaara post karti huN. mujhe words break karne mai thoda mushkil to rehti hii hai,yeh hii ab padne ke baad mehsoos kiya hai. |
Arun BeKhabar
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2005 - 10:16 am: | |
rooh saahiba,
aap ne to kamaal kar diyaa. aap ko to mubaarakbaad detaa hee hooN, Suhel saahab ko bhi mubaarakbaad denee paDegee. waah! Very good!!
zehr ye ko 'ye zehar' kar deejiye!
na sirf aap e technially excellent kaam kiyaa hai, khayaal bhii khoob shaandaar pesh kiye haiN.
Arun BeKhabar  |
Arun BeKhabar
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2005 - 10:20 am: | |
Sunita ji,
is baar ki pahlee assigment me beshak rooh jii ne acchha perform kiyaa hai, magar aap bhii peeche nahii haiN.
teri baatoN mai aa hii gaye
hosh apne luuta hii gaaye
unkii aankheN thi ek mai kadaa
hosh mere udaa hii gaye
ye do sher khoob haiN! aap logoN ki lagan dekh kar mugdh hooN.
Arun BeKhabar |
Arun BeKhabar
| | Posted on Monday, August 01, 2005 - 10:21 am: | |
yaar Suhel,
hats off to you!
Arun BeKhabar |
silent_rooh
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2005 - 07:45 am: | |
Arun sahab bahot bahot shukriyaa jo aap ne humaraa assignment dekha...aur sarahaa..
ji sahii farmayaa aap ne hats off to suhel..he has put in lots of effort in our training....we will be grateful to him all our lives....he has given us a treasure....
thanx chhotey se dost....thanx very very much..u don't know how grateful i m to u...
regards
Rooh
|
silent_rooh
Username: Rooh
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2005 - 07:59 am: | |
suhel meraa dusraa assignment post kar rahii hun..dekh lijiye....
mujhe to pataa hii nahii tha ki har aasignment mein fisrt second position ka bhii chakkar hai....i m scared..mujhse pressure mein kaam nahii hotaa theek se..
aur haan Manjeetji ne mujhe username de hii diyaa...manjeetji tussi gr8 ho ji....twadaa bahot bahot thank yu hai jii...
2-1-2 2-1-2 2-1-2 2-1-2
ik asire muhabbat rihaa ho gayaa
baa karam maut bismil rihaa ho gayaa
dekh kar yun qafas se nikalnaa miraa
yaar saiyaad mujh se khafaa ho gayaa
zindagii ne kiye wo sitam beshtar
aah bharnaa miraa ab adaa ho gayaa
sun fariiyaad ab to khudaayaa mirii
ke alam ziist ka ab sivaa ho gayaa
aarzoo koi ab kyun nahii hai rahii
rooh shauqe safar kyun fanaa ho gayaa
rooh
|
Sunita
Username: Sunita
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2005 - 08:59 am: | |
suhel mai aaj apna pehla assignement post kar rahii huN,shayad ab kuch theek ho.
teri baatoN mai aa hii gaye
tujh ko apna banaa hii gaye
aag aisii lagii ishq kii
dil ko phir bhi bachaa hii gaye
bhuul ke raasta aaj bhi
ghar ham apne phir aa hii gaye
unkii aankheN thii ek mai kadaa
hosh mere udaa hii gaye
bekhudi had se badne lagii
bin piiye laDkhaDa hii gaye
miT sakengii na tanhaaiiyaaN
ham to khud ko miTaa hii gaye |
Sunita
Username: Sunita
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2005 - 09:02 am: | |
suhel aap se ek request bhi karni thi kii kya aap ek lesson aisa prepare kar ke yahaN daal sakte haiN jahaN most used words ko break karna bataaya jaaye. Pataa nahiN kyuN abhi bhi mujhe words break karne mai bahut dikkat aati hai jis kii vajah se bahut se words chahte hue bhi use nahiN kar patii huN. thanks |
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2005 - 09:03 am: | |
Rooh aap ghabraaye nahiiN jo mehnat karte haiN aur qaabil hote haiN unheN mushqil meN zyaadaa aasaanii hotii hai aur aapko apne aapko aisaa banaanaa hai aur ham sab aapke saath haiN...!
Rooh aap is ghazal ko ek da'faa aur dekh leN samajhiye maiN aapko ek mauqah aur de rahaa huN beshtar she'ro meN khayaal mubham hai zabaaN aur ravaaN karne kii zaroorat hai...aap plzz ise ek dafaa aur dekh leN...!
|
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2005 - 09:25 am: | |
Sunita pahlii dafaa jab aapkii ye ghazal dekhii to maine jo rooh ko likhaa hai vo aapko likhne vaalaa thaa magar isse pahle hii aapkaa message aa gayaa...aapne iskii islaah jaantaa huN bahut mehnat se kii hai aur khush ho jaaiye aapkii mehnat raNg laayii hai...!
teri baatoN mai aa hii gaye
tujh ko apna banaa hii gaye
>...bahut khoob simple and beautiful - 200%
aag aisii lagii ishq kii
dil ko phir bhi bachaa hii gaye
>....kamaal hai ishq kii aag meN dil bachaa liyaa koii fire proof dil hai kyaa ravaangii se bharpoor she'r ke liye ek aur - 200%
bhuul ke raasta aaj bhi
ghar ham apne phir aa hii gaye
>...is she'r ko paDh ke koii nahiiN kah saktaa ke aapko bah'r nahiiN aatii - 200%
unkii aankheN thii ek mai kadaa
hosh mere udaa hii gaye
>....vaah! kamaal kar diyaa bahut hii pyaaraa khayaal pakRaa hai aapne - 200%
bekhudi had se badne lagii
bin piiye laDkhaDa hii gaye
>...ek aur khoobsoorat she'r iske lie bhii - 200%
miT sakengii na tanhaaiiyaaN
ham to khud ko miTaa hii gaye
>...achchaa kahaa hai lekin aapkaa takhallus kahaaN hai iske maiN no. kaaT luN to...!
pahlii dafaa kisii ne 100 meN se 100 haasil kiye haiN mubaarak ho...! |
Sunita
Username: Sunita
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 02, 2005 - 01:07 pm: | |
Suhel bahut bahut aur bahut hii shukriya,kii is dafaa aap ne number nahiN kaate. Takhallus use karne ko aapne kab kahaa tha. achchaa koshish karti hun suniiye
jab se `Nikhat` ko manaa apnaa
dil-o-jaaN tum lutaa hii gaye
umeed karti hun pasand aayega. |
Sunita
Username: Sunita
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 03, 2005 - 09:33 am: | |
Suhel mai apna doosra assignment post kar rahi huN.aap please jab time mile isse check kar leN.
dard had se guzar kar fanaa ho gayaa
ranj dekho ke raahat fizaa ho gayaa
tujh ko chaha to jaise kiya jurm ik
but ko chahaa to dekho khuda ho gayaa
har gilla yaad kar ke na jaane vo kyuN
muskuraaya zaraa phir khafaa ho gayaa
umr bhar hosh mai na aayenge ab
pii ke aankhoN se aisaa nashaa ho gayaa
jab se nazreN milii usse `Nikhat`terii
dil ye tera tujhi se judaa ho gayaa
|
silent_rooh
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 03, 2005 - 10:31 am: | |
suhel my second post of second assignment...
wah suni...very nice...bahot achaa likhaa hai..
2-1-2 2-1-2 2-1-2 2-1-2
baat hii baat mei wo khafaa ho gayaa
besabab hii khalaa ik khadaa ho gayaa
jaa basaa hai kahin duur wo to, magar
baad uss ke miraa dar fanaa ho gayaa
ab asire muhabbat nahii wo rahaa
haan, parindaa qafas se rihaa ho gayaa
aaj aaya badii deir tak yaad wo
zakhm phir se dil ka haraa ho gayaa
khamushii se sahey dard gar ishq ke
to samajh, farz dil ka adaa ho gayaa
rooh labband honaa tiraa dard mei
ye tiraa zarf, terii wafaa ho gayaa.
Rooh
|
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, August 04, 2005 - 12:22 am: | |
Sunita ji ye huii na baat ab lag rahaa hai aapne dil se likhaa hai..!
dard had se guzar kar fanaa ho gayaa
ranj dekho ke raahat fizaa ho gayaa
>....matlaa bahut khoob hai aapke is she'r se kuchh mujhe merii aur kuchh momin khaaN momin kii yaad aa gayii...! 200%
tujh ko chaha to jaise kiya jurm ik
but ko chahaa to dekho khuda ho gayaa
>>..vaah zabardast...200%
har gilla yaad kar ke na jaane vo kyuN
muskuraaya zaraa phir khafaa ho gayaa
>>..ek aur khoobsoorat she'r 200%
umr bhar hosh mai na aayenge ab
pii ke aankhoN se aisaa nashaa ho gayaa
>>...ghazab kar diyaa 200% aur liijiye..!
jab se nazreN milii usse `Nikhat`terii
dil ye tera tujhi se judaa ho gayaa
>>.maqtaa aapkii ghazal kaa sabse pyaaraa she'r hai kyaa baat kahii hai bahut khoob....200% aur
is baar bhii maiN aapko 100 meN se 100 detaa huN...!
aapne kamaal kar diyaa hai kahaaaN pahle assignment meN aap sabse piichhe the...!
keep it up dear..!
Suhel |
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, August 04, 2005 - 12:44 am: | |
baat hii baat mei wo khafaa ho gayaa
besabab hii khalaa ik khadaa ho gayaa
>...rooh matle meN bah'r Thiik hai magar duusre misre meN mujhe aap kahnaa chaah rahe ho samajh nahiiN aa rahaa aap zaraa bataayeN maiN iske no. baad meN lagaa duNgaa...!
jaa basaa hai kahin duur wo to, magar
baad uss ke miraa dar fanaa ho gayaa
>>....vaah! bahut khoob 200%
ab asire muhabbat nahii wo rahaa
haan, parindaa qafas se rihaa ho gayaa
>...rooh asiir-e-muhabbat kuchh jam nahiiN rahaa aur dono misro meN rabt bhii nahiiN hai..!
aap ise yuN kaheN...100%
ye khulaa aasmaaN hai usii ke lie
jo parindaa qafas se rihaa ho gayaa
---------------------------------------
aaj aaya badii deir tak yaad wo
zakhm phir se dil ka haraa ho gayaa
>...kyaa khoobsoorat khayaal hai bahut khoob magar ziya ji duusre misre meN ek syllable kahaaN chhoR aaye...! ise yuN kaheN..100%
| 2 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 2 | | zakh | m | phir | se | | dil | kaa | ha | raa | ho | ga | yaa | | zakh | m | phir | se | ji | gar | kaa | ha | raa | ho | ga | yaa | |
khamushii se sahey dard gar ishq ke
to samajh, farz dil ka adaa ho gayaa
>...bhaii vaah ye aayaa na 1000% vaalaa she'r bahut hii khoob is she'r ke lie aapko Dhair saarii daad aur 1000% saath meN..!
rooh labband honaa tiraa dard mei
ye tiraa zarf, terii wafaa ho gayaa.
>...maqtaa runner-up hai ye aakhirii ke do she'r kitne dilkash aur lutf bhare haiN bhai ek aur 1000%...! in do she'ro ne saarii bharpaaii kar dii ..!
Ziya aapko is ghazal ke 100 meN se 90 milte haiN..! aur mehnat kareN..!
aapkaa chhoTa sa dost
Suhel |
Sunita
Username: Sunita
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, August 04, 2005 - 05:05 am: | |
suhel maine paathshaala ke maiN page par aap ke liye message bheja tha agar waqt mile to please use dekh liijiyega. |
silent_rooh
| | Posted on Thursday, August 04, 2005 - 09:01 am: | |
suhel zakhm waaey sher mei 'hai' type karnaa reh gayaa tha...but now that u have placed jigar in it to that sounds better...thanx
aur matley mein ye kehney ki koshish ki hai ki wo baat baat mei khaafa ho gayaa..mtalb over a very small thing...so usski iss narazgii se bewajah ik life mei emptiness create ho gayii...that is what i tried saying
asire muhabbat...se muraad ye ki one that is carrying on love..and not into it with heart...iss liye ye use kiyaa gayaa hai ki qafas se rihaa ho gayaa..
baaqi 90 marks bahot disappointing rahey..lol
regards
Rooh
|
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, August 04, 2005 - 09:12 am: | |
Rooh khalaa ke maane aapne emptiness ke liye jis tarha liyaa hai vo ghalat hai vaise bhii ebazm kii dictionary par bharosaa nahiiN karnaa aap khalaa ke do maane hote haiN ek to "space" yaane antariksh duusraa maane "zero area" yane "shunye"...! jahaaN havaa na ho bhaar na ho..!
koii bat nahiiN aglii dafa aap 100 number leNge..! mujhe yaqiin hai...!
Suhel |
Alok
| | Posted on Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 10:35 pm: | |
Suhel Bhai,
Der se assignment jama karne ki muaaphi chahata hoon. Main kuchh is kadar mashroof raha ki ye kaam kar hi nahi paya. Par ab main aapke saamne apni do gajalen le kar aaya hoon. Unka moolankan karne ki kripa karen.
1. Bah’r Mutadaarik (212)3
"Teri baaton men aa hi gaye
Hum hasi.N dhokhe khaa hi gaye
Jab kiya yaad dil ne tujhe
Hum to sab kuchh bhulaa hi gaye
Kuchh dikhaa gar nisha.N razm kaa
Phir siyaasatdaa.N aa hi gaye
Ab badhe aur kuchh zindagii
Maut tak yun bhi aa hi gaye
Hai jamaanaa to unkaa rahaa
Toote dil jo khilaa hi gaye"
2. Bah’r Mutadaarik Saalim (212)4
"Dard had se gujar kar fanaa ho gayaa
Dil men rah kar wo dil ki binaa ho gayaa
Ab to kisase kahen aur kaise kahen
Barmalaa thaa jo raze-nihaa.N ho gayaa
Aaj taDpaa teri yaad men is qadar
Dil ke mitne kaa humko gumaa.N ho gayaa
Kuchh banii is qadar thii game-yaar se
Maamlaa ye bhi rashqe-janaa ho gayaa
Jiske hone se qaayam thii hastii merii
Dard wo hi adam ki sinaa ho gayaa"
Mujhe aapke jabaab ka intzaar rahegaa!
|
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 09, 2005 - 07:48 am: | |
"Teri baaton men aa hi gaye
Hum hasi.N dhokhe khaa hi gaye
>...bahut achche is dhoke ke liye aapko 100%
Jab kiya yaad dil ne tujhe
Hum to sab kuchh bhulaa hi gaye
>....ye bhii achchaa rahaa 100%
Kuchh dikhaa gar nisha.N razm kaa
Phir siyaasatdaa.N aa hi gaye
>...sahii hai 100%
Ab badhe aur kuchh zindagii
Maut tak yun bhi aa hi gaye
>...ek aur achchha she'r 100%
Hai jamaanaa to unkaa rahaa
Toote dil jo khilaa hi gaye"
>...Alok bhaaii "jamaanaa" ko "zamaanaa" likheN
Toote dil ko khilaane ki tarkiib samajh se baahar hai 0%
2. Bah’r Mutadaarik Saalim (212)4
"Dard had se gujar kar fanaa ho gayaa
Dil men rah kar wo dil ki binaa ho gayaa
>..."gujar" ko "guzar" likheN...she'r achchaa hai 100%
Ab to kisase kahen aur kaise kahen
Barmalaa thaa jo raze-nihaa.N ho gayaa
>...ye she'r is ghazal kaa nahiiN ho saktaa kyuNkii aapne jo kaafiyaa use kiyaa hai vo "nishaaN" hai..! 0%
Aaj taDpaa teri yaad men is qadar
Dil ke mitne kaa humko gumaa.N ho gayaa
>...Alok bhaaii "qadar" ghalat hai "qadr" hotaa hai iskii vajh se bah'r bhi gaRbaR ho gayii aur haaN jis tarha "nishaaN" is ghazal kaa kaafiyaa nahiiN ho saktaa usii tarha "gumaaN" bhii is ghazal kaa kaafiyaa nahiiN ho saktaa.
Kuchh banii is qadar thii game-yaar se
Maamlaa ye bhi rashqe-janaa ho gayaa
>...is ghazal meN bhii "qadar" ki vajh se bah'r gaRbaR ho gayii..!
Jiske hone se qaayam thii hastii merii
Dard wo hi adam ki sinaa ho gayaa"
>....Alok bhaaii aapkii is ghazal se mujhe kaafii niraashaa huii hai mujhe ummeed nahiiN thii chaliye koii baat nahiiN aglii dafaa aap zaraa aur mehnat kareNge to sab Thiik ho jaayegaa...!
PS: Abhii tak Gauhar kaa assignment nahiiN aayaa maiN aglaa assignment post kar rahaa huN is baar ek hii bah'r de rahaa huN aur waqt kam kar rahaa huN...!
Suhel |
gauhar
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 09, 2005 - 08:34 am: | |
suhelji,muaffi chchti huiN ki apna assignment post nahiiN kar paayi.maiN bahut roz se net par aa nahiiN payee huiN aur jab bhi aati huiN waqt kam milta haiN.mere paas to bahut waqt hai,lekin interenet aaj-kal down rehta hai.bahut der tak surf nahiiN kar sakti.aaj bhi bahut slow hai.
once again,sorry yaar.
gauhar
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Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 09, 2005 - 08:58 am: | |
gauhar koii baat nahiiN maiN ek baat aapko aur Alok ko kahnaa chaahtaa thaa ke agar aapko personally mujhse kuchh savaalaat karne ho yaa koii help chaahiye ho to aap mujhe email kar sakte haiN...!
Suhel |
gauhar
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 09, 2005 - 09:12 am: | |
thnx,suhelji
i will,abhi maiN apni assignment par concentrate kar rahi huiN,kuch madad lagi to zaroor email karoongi.apni assignment 2-3 roz meiN post kar duNgi.
gauhar |
Alok
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 10, 2005 - 03:32 am: | |
Suhel Bhai,
Hadbadi men gadbadi sunte aaye the, ab dekh bhi liya. Main is baar dhyaan se is assignment ko pooraa kar aapke saamne aaunga.Urdu ki shikshaa na hone ka kuchh to asar dikhega hi, par main ise door karke hi rahoonga. Aapka aabharii hoon ki aapne e-mail se bhi madad dena swiikaar kiya hai. Jab bhi jaroorat padi, main mail jaroor karoonga. |
Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 10, 2005 - 04:56 am: | |
Alok bhaai jaise aap haiN vaise maiN bhii thaa kabhii Urdu mujhe bhii nahiiN aatii siikh rahaa huN ebazm meN ek feroz bhaaii ne mujhe merii urdu sudhaarne meN kaafii madad kii thii jab kabhii maiN ghalat likhtaa thaa vo mujhe bataate the aur maiN use phir kabhii nahiiN bhoolaa jo ek baar unhone mujhe bataa diyaa ab jaise aapne "jaroorat" likhaa hai jabki "zaroorat" honaa chaahiye aur "jaroor" ko "zaroor" honaa chaahiye...!
haaN ek din aap bhii Urdu siikh jaayeNge ye aapkii lagan se pataa chaltaa hai...!
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jalees sherwani
| | Posted on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 02:00 am: | |
Sunitaji,kya khoobsoorat khayaal hai,
har gilaa yaad kar ke na jaane wo kyuN.
muskuraya zara phir khafaa ho gaya.
mubaarakbaad.
jalees |
jalees sherwani
| | Posted on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 02:03 am: | |
Rooh,Ek behtreen khayal se nawaaza aapne,
ab aseer-e-mohabbat nahiN wo raha.
haaN,parinda qafas se riha ho gaya.
kehta rahiye.zindaabaad.
jalees |
Sunita
Username: Sunita
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 02:26 am: | |
shukriya jalees ji aap ne paathshaala aa kar hamari ghazal padi aur mubarakbaad di, varna log to your own poetry mai bhi bhool jaate haiN. Lekin aage se mai yahan pesh kii gayi ghazal ko your own poetry mai bhi daal doongi taki paathshala mai koi be-adabi na ho. |
Alok
| | Posted on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 04:15 am: | |
Suhel Bhai,
Main apni gazal phir se likh kar aapke saamne laya hoon. Dhyaan se likhne ki koshish to kii hai par uski kamyaabi to aapko hi dekhni hai.
1. Bah’r Mutadaarik Saalim (212)4
2-1-2-2-1-2-2-1-2-2-1-2
"Dard had se guzar kar fanaa ho gayaa
Dil men rah kar wo dil ki binaa ho gayaa
Aaz taDapaa terii yaad men besabab
Dil ke mitne ka humko imaa ho gayaa
Kuchh banii is tarah thii game-yaar se
Maamalaa yah bhi rashqe-janaa ho gayaa
Jiske hone se qaayam thi hastii merii
Dard wo hii adam kii sinaa ho gayaa
Is gazal kii wo taareef kyonkar kare.N
Dekhanaa bhar hi jinkaa sanaa ho gayaa"
Ummed hai ki is baar main pichhlii galtiyaan dohraane se bachaa hoon. Aapke zabaab ka intzaar rahega. Main apna chautha assignment bhi abhi post kar rahaa hoon.
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Suhel Khan
Username: Suhel
Registered: 04-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, August 13, 2005 - 05:33 am: | |
Alok bhaaii aapko dekh kar mujhe apne vo din yaad aa gaye jab maiN bhii zyaadaatar alfaaz meN "z" aur "j" ki ghaltii kartaa thaa kasam se pahle to maiN aapkii chand lafzoN ki ghaltiyaaN bataa duN taake aap aage iskaa dhyaan rakh sakeN...ye is liye hai ki Urdu hamaarii zabaan nahiiN hai...lekin siikhne se kuchh bhii siikhaa jaa saktaa hai...!
"aaz" ko "aaj" likhiye
"zabaab" ko "javaab" likhiye
vaise ye koshish aapkii pahle vaalii se laakh bahtar hai is ghazal meN aapko achche no. milte agar aap ise pahle post karte..vaise aapkii ghazal kaa matlaa mujhe bahit pasand aayaa ye she'r aapkii puuri ghazal pe bhaarii hai aur is she'r se aapke shaayar hone kaa pukhtaa saboot miltaa hai...!
is gazal kii wo ta'aariif kyonkar kare.N
Dekhanaa bhar hi jinkaa sanaa ho gayaa"
>...bas pehlaa misraa bah'r meN nahiiN hai...!
kyuNkii "taareef" "ta'aariif" hotaa hai yaane "ta" "aa" "rii" "f" jis tarha "mash'aa'l" hotaa hai lekin log mashaal kahte haiN joke ghalat hai..>!
khaak'saar
Suhel 'Ulfat'
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